What We Carry
Jun 18, 2025
My suitcase is open on the bed, and I’m already overwhelmed. I have a trip coming up, and I’ve been thinking about what to pack for far too long.
Not because I’m trying to look fabulous (although that’s always nice)—but because, like so many women, I’m packing for every version of myself that might show up: the relaxed version, the curious version, the one who might feel insecure, or the one who wants to be spontaneous and stylish. It’s as if I’m trying to predict every possible moment that might unfold… and prepare for it.
Full disclosure: I’m a chronic over-packer. And while I know better (I’ve been doing this for years), sometimes logic takes a backseat to emotion. As a stylist, I understand how to build a travel wardrobe that’s streamlined and intentional. But as a woman? I pack like I’m preparing for a fashion emergency, an identity crisis, and a possible natural disaster—all at once.
Over the years, I’ve realized that women tend to carry a lot—in our hands, in our hearts, in our heads. We overpack not because we’re disorganized, but because we’re deeply conditioned to be prepared, accommodating, responsible. We carry the emotional labor of families. The mental lists that never stop running. The pressure to look put-together, be agreeable, anticipate needs, smooth things over, keep things going.
We carry the weight of our roles—daughter, partner, mother, caregiver, friend, professional, volunteer. We carry expectations: to show up smiling, to always do more, to stay small and likable while being strong and capable. We carry shame for things that were never ours to hold. We carry guilt for wanting rest. We carry grief for who we used to be and fear around who we’re still becoming.
No wonder our bags are heavy.
Packing light—whether for a trip or for life—requires more than knowing what to bring. It requires knowing what to release. It takes trust: that we are enough as we are, and that we don’t have to prepare for every possible outcome just to feel safe.
We carry “what ifs” in our purses and “just in case” in our hearts.
But here’s what I’ve learned: The world isn’t going to end because I didn’t bring the right belt.
I’m not trying to reinvent myself on vacation. I just want to feel comfortable, look like I made an effort, and avoid dragging home a suitcase full of clothes I never wore.
So these days, I try to travel differently. I’m learning to leave room in my suitcase—and in my life—for possibility. For pleasure. For peace.
And the lightness I’m after? It’s not just about having fewer outfits. It’s about choosing not to carry what no longer fits.
